It’s just a name. Or is it?

When I was little, my sister had a Smurfette poster that said “Girls can do anything!” I totally believed it. I still do today. Am I a feminist? Perhaps.

And yet…when I got married, I changed my last name.

Shocking? I didn’t think so, but apparently some people think it is. So, why did I do it?

I changed my name to match my husband’s for one simple reason: I consider my husband and I to be a family now and I think a family should have the same last name. That’s it.

It wasn’t complicated for me. If we lived in a country where the man took on the woman’s name – I would expect my husband to take my name. If we get divorced, I will most likely change my name back.

I have nothing against women who don’t want to change their name. I’m positive they have their own reasons. I’m not sure why people that debate this subject get so intense. To me, it’s a completely personal decision.  Whatever works.

Just because I changed my last name doesn’t mean that my thoughts or opinions changed in any way. I’m still the same person. I still believe that girls can do anything!

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13 Responses to It’s just a name. Or is it?

  1. I think this is really interesting. There are certainly a number of feminists out there who think that taking a man’s name is a sign of weakness. But I think you just have to put it into context; the reason you chose to take his name was a lovely one, you want to become a family. Surely feminism came about in the first place to allow women to make choices such as these. It’s your choice, I certainly wouldn’t feel bad about it.

  2. Phronk says:

    Yeah seems totally personal to me. It’s certainly more practical to just keep one name per family, and our society has decided it should be the man’s.

    Although I must admit, I’d hesitate before changing my name to my wife’s, even though I consider myself a feminist and I agree that it doesn’t change who you are at all. I like the idea of a lineage passed on through names.

    Hmm this is complicated.

    • Flawless says:

      I think lineage is interesting but your heritage will continue to exist regardless of what your name is. You are just as much a part of your Mother’s family as you are of your Fathers, even if you don’t have her last/maiden name.

  3. Marianne says:

    So many women at work couldn’t understand why I changed my name. I think the feminists of the past fought for a womans right to choose for themselves… and I chose my husbands last name for the same reason you did :)

  4. City Mom says:

    I like this post Flawless! I share the same opinion. I’ve changed my name and feel proud to be who we are together as a family! I have very forward thinking views but when it comes to this topic I guess I am a traditionalist.

  5. Erica says:

    It took me a while to change my name – in fact, I haven’t completely let go of my maiden name yet (though, to be fair, I’ve been married only 15 months). It’s still on my credit cards and health card. I agonized over it for months until I decided that yes, I’d make the change. Slowly.

    My new last name isn’t near as unique as my maiden name, but I know that I’ll never lose my maiden name anyway. Just this past week I was referred to by it, and I refer to friends by their maiden names often. I feel closer to my husband by sharing a name!

    • Flawless says:

      Yes…sometimes the process to change your name can be a deterrent. I admit with some companies it was such a hassle that I just didn’t bother. My work was the most difficult though…took me a couple months to get everything switched over there…very painful!

  6. lookitsbray says:

    I may take some heat here but if my bride wouldn’t take my name, she probably wouldn’t be my bride.

    • City Mom says:

      Fair enough. I’ve heard others say this. In fact I heard the parents of a son share that would not be at all happy if their son chose a women who would not take his name. This is a touchy subject! My motto is to each their own!

    • Kim Forgetta says:

      I’ve heard that before. Personally, I think that is just proof that certain people are meant to be. If you felt strongly about that…you’d probably look for someone that felt the same way.

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